A Handyman's Guide To Fixing America.

A lot has been said in recent times about the dire situation we Americans find ourselves in today. Unemployment, war, recession, and unaccountable government and corporate spending...... These are just a few of the conundrums plaguing us. We've all heard the so-called experts opinions on how to resolve our problems, but not one of them has said a thing about the quickest way to achieve it. GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!! We need to gut our government!

You heard correct. Our government is at the very heart of the problem and the only way to fix things is by restructuring it from the top down. We'll keep the Presidency, of course, but we really don't require two senators from each state so, we'll cut that number in half. Next, we'll cut the entire House Of Representatives. They are a redundant body and, as anyone who's ever tuned into C-SPAN can tell you, not worth a shaky shit to begin with. If you factor in their salaries as well as all the personal aides that would be canned along with them, not to mention those gigantic spending allowances they are entitled to every year, we will have saved ourselves millions of tax dollars every year.

I know it sounds good so far, but I'm not done yet. Next, we take our shears to State government. The governor of each state will be directly responsible to their senator. Under the governor, each county will have a single representative who will have as their subordinate their county's commissioner who, in turn, will preside over the mayors of all the towns therein.

Now, let's talk about accountability. Do you know why the prices of prescription drugs, gas, and health insurance are so high? In a word: Lobbyists. These are people who bribe politicians to vote in favor of, or against, legislation pertaining to their industries. I propose outlawing lobbying and sequestering politicians for the duration of their terms in office. Also, I propose the cessation of social get-togethers for politicians at the public's expense. Furthermore, any legislation concerning health care should be put on a ballet for the people to vote on. The last thing we need is for a bunch of corrupt politicians in the debt of special interest groups deciding the issue.

Need more spending cuts? How about this? We close all our foreign embassies and remove all of our troops from foreign duty. Our armed forces are there to protect America, not some corporation's assets. We can do the world a favor and annex Mexico, instead. Do you really think we'd have an immigration problem if Mexicans were able to make a decent wage in their homeland? Just think about how secure our border would be if we owned everything between Canada and the Panama Canal. True, that means taking over Central America, too, but it would only improve their lives as well. Of course, that means the CIA would have to look elsewhere to fund their dirty ops when their drug trade dried up. That's okay, we can live with that.

There's another sector in which we can start producing major savings, too. The prison system is over-crowded and very expensive. I say put them to work. Any crime carrying a sentence of ten years or less....let's call it one year at hard labor. Serious crimes? Take them behind the courthouse and put a bullet in their head. Simple and cost-effective. Of course, it will mean revamping the legal system. I, for one, think judges should go to school to be judges and NOT fraternize with attorneys ever. Let's make that a crime, shall we? Also, we the people of this great country should get together and vote on appropriate salaries for all public officials based on the physical and mental demands of the job first and foremost. That means police officers, fire fighters, and teachers get considerable raises, while office workers and attorneys take a pay cut. Simply put, you sit on your asses all day doing very little for the amount of money you are paid.

Sadly, these humble opinions will fall on deaf ears for the most part. Americans are just too lazy to do anything about it. We have been happy to let a few predatory and unscrupulous people lead us down a path to ruin all in the name of the almighty Dollar. Well, we better get up and start exercising.....our rights that is.....before we wake up one day and realize we no longer have them. Think about that for awhile.