Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Duh!

Every time I turn my television to a news network these days, I keep hearing about pirates. The pirates attacked a cruise liner. The pirates captured a cargo ship. The pirates took a hostage. Navy SEALs just blew three pirates' heads off. (Cudos on that last one, by the way, gentlemen...nice shooting.) Pirates! Pirates, pirates, pirates! These goofy bastards are everywhere! They have been responsible for thousands, THOUSANDS, of attacks within the last decade, stealing hundreds of ships and small craft, kidnapping thousands of people, and taking a multi-billion dollar bite out of the world economy. What's America's response to this? Diplomacy. .....................wait for it............
GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!

HELLO! PIRATES!!!!! These clowns don't care about stern words and sanctions against their native countries. They're set. They have money, they have weapons, and they have a damned if I die attitude. Newsflash, Mrs. Clinton: (I can't believe I voted for you!) The only way to deal with pirates is to blast them out of the water. King James III of England went through the same thing
back in the early 1700's. He tried diplomacy. He offered pardons to every pirate. It only emboldened them. Later, he instituted a policy to run them down and kill them all. It was a VERY effective campaign. You want to end piracy, here's how to do it. Kill 'em all! (Thank you Metallica!)

But, you say, our economy can't take another costly Naval deployment! There's a solution to that problem. Privateers. Share the burden equally amongst nations with maritime interests. Get a couple cargo ships out of moth balls and fit them with heavy caliber weaponry which can be hidden until the pirates are too close to flee and butcher those bungholes! Give them a fast boat with armor that can withstand RPG's and 50 cal. fire to run down, and run over, the pirate speed boats. Build my Sea Snake missile, the aquatic version of the Stinger, to take out approaching pirate vessels. DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN SITTING ON YOUR BIG FAT ASSES, PLEASE!

Not only can you defeat these modern day Blackbeards, you can creatye jobs, too. Shipping Security, weapons developers, psychotic saiors....it's win- win-win! Man, I'm feeling patriotic all of a sudden! USA! USA! USA! (Thanks for that rousing slogan Hacksaw Jim Duggan.) How's THAT for fiscal responsibility? YAR!

Welcome To The Jungle

Do you know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You're gonna die! Yes. G-n-R got it right. Only, the concrete jungle they refer to is a lot tougher place than they make it out to be in that awesome song, especially if you are an ex-felon looking for work. Unemployment is high in our great nation for one glaring reason...people's reluctance to higher ex-cons-those who have made poor choices in their pasts and, for the most part are very sorry for their past deeds and looking for the opportunity to make a fresh start. What resources do they have? Hardly any.

I've experienced the hopelessness and frustration of this phenomenon first hand, having plead guilty to an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon charge a couple years back. What did I do?
I bumped a car with a semi-truck that cut me off and slammed on it's brakes, because I couldn't stop quickly enough to prevent the collision. The other driver sped away, through a red light no less, and disappeared. I called 911 and reported the accident, giving the dispatcher the license plate number and description of the car. An hour later, the police arrived, with said individual ( and several carloads of people who swore they "saw the whole thing" ) and I ended up being arrested. Long story short, I couldn't afford an attorney and got rail-roaded in court.

Two years later, I'm still on probation....deferred adjudicated, three years to go, and unemployed. I have been turned down for job openings three times in as many days, with no reason given, but I know the truth. It's a sad truth about America. No one trusts anyone else anymore, especially if they perceive you as a "bad guy". Humph!.......GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!

What do you think our last President was? Answer? A criminal. Not just a criminal, but a drug addict, too. What the hell does that say about how hypocritical Americans can be? We won't lift a finger to help someone make a new start and be a contributing member of society, but we will elect a C average goof to the highest office in the land so he can get his fix of death and destruction on a global scale? Shame on us....ALL of us.