Okay....first, let me set the record straight. I'm not a lily-liver liberal, or a stogie chompin' conservative, either. I'm what you might call a free thinking individual. In other words, I like to make my own informed decision on what is right and wrong. With that in mind, I submit tonight's raving rant....about words. It seems there are some people out there who get upset when they hear certain words uttered they find offensive. Fag, dike, spic, spook, homo, retard, jungle-bunny, chink, slope, gook, wop, dago, Pollock, towel-head, camel-jockey, dune coon, ass pirate....well, it's a REALLY long list as you can imagine, so I think I'll stop there if you don't mind. All of a sudden, all manner of formerly bad-ass people are starting to cry whenever these words make the news. Hey, all you ass-kissing politically correct butt monkeys.....
GIMME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!!
What? You don't have anything better to do with your lives? Haven't you ever heard the old nursery rhyme: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Sarah Palin...I'm sorry your kid is retarded, but I'm tired of hearing about how uppity your wolf killing psycho-bitch ass gets when someone else says something is F-ing Retarded. Was he talking about your kid when he made that comment? Was he referring to retarded kids at all for that matter? No. Had he said "Sarah Palin's retarded kid makes me shit my pants from laughing every time I see his kooky little mongoloid face.", then yeah, I'd say it was time to get in your chopper and go hunting for liberals. The truth is, he did NOT say that, or anything vaguely like it. So take all your crabby bullshit and shove it back up your poop chute, Legs.
I'm not picking on retarded people. I try to be respectful to the best of my ability, but sometimes people really get stupid about these things and it irritates the hell out of me. Everybody, please, give your whining a rest. It makes you look like a bunch of nit-picking bitch-boys (and girls). Let's get back to focusing on what's really important.....lynching all the CEO's and officers of all the companies who received those giant bailout checks. They need to be strung up by their toes and let people throw dog crap at them for a month while we give all their property to those poor Haitian folks. Now THAT's what I call justice.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
A Fag In Fox
Ah....the winter Olympics. Another chance to watch scantily clad women glide artistically across a frozen expanse in time to classical music....wait.....uh, that's not a woman? WTF? OH, DUDE! THAT'S A DUDE, DUDE! Where's he get off wearing a woman's outfit like that? In other words....GIMME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!
Johnnie Weir, you are a bright, shining spot on America's Gaydar. Yeah, you're gay. There's no denying it. Guy's don't comment on how 'pretty' their outfits are or that they feel 'pretty' wearing them.....except for those fruits that like to dress up in womens' underwear and look at themselves in the mirror they keep showing on Springer reruns. I'm not taking exception with that, though, froo-froo boy, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, it's that little tuft of fur on your shoulder that's pissing me off.
You see, 'pretty' boy, those homo's who put your ensembles together get that fur from some really scummy people who like to torture animals. In my book, if you kill something, you damn well better eat it, unless it's a bug or a snake. (You can sell the snakes to the Cajuns and the bugs to the French...they're into that stuff.) The point is, killing stuff for the sake of fashion is wrong. How would you like it if some nut came along and stuck an electrode up your ass and zapped you to make a set of seat covers? (Scratch that, you're gay....you'd probably LOVE the first part....) Anyway, you Little Richard wannabe, get with the freaking program. Do you really want to be harassed by crazy PETA ladies the rest of your life? I have it on good authority some of them have Hepatitis. Things could get VERY ugly for you.
Fear not, there IS salvation for you. You must denounce furry-assed feminine costumes and get yourself some manly camouflage stuff along with combat boot style skates. Every now and then, drink a beer and don't be afraid to let one rip in front of the judges. Start reading Hustler when you have the time and smack every pretty girl on the backside as she passes by and be sure to give her a big wink and a thumbs up afterward. (If at all possible, ask her for her phone number.) Last, but not least, keep your winky out of the stinky, if you know what I mean. If you follow these simple steps, you too, can be a man, Johnboy. Good luck.
Johnnie Weir, you are a bright, shining spot on America's Gaydar. Yeah, you're gay. There's no denying it. Guy's don't comment on how 'pretty' their outfits are or that they feel 'pretty' wearing them.....except for those fruits that like to dress up in womens' underwear and look at themselves in the mirror they keep showing on Springer reruns. I'm not taking exception with that, though, froo-froo boy, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, it's that little tuft of fur on your shoulder that's pissing me off.
You see, 'pretty' boy, those homo's who put your ensembles together get that fur from some really scummy people who like to torture animals. In my book, if you kill something, you damn well better eat it, unless it's a bug or a snake. (You can sell the snakes to the Cajuns and the bugs to the French...they're into that stuff.) The point is, killing stuff for the sake of fashion is wrong. How would you like it if some nut came along and stuck an electrode up your ass and zapped you to make a set of seat covers? (Scratch that, you're gay....you'd probably LOVE the first part....) Anyway, you Little Richard wannabe, get with the freaking program. Do you really want to be harassed by crazy PETA ladies the rest of your life? I have it on good authority some of them have Hepatitis. Things could get VERY ugly for you.
Fear not, there IS salvation for you. You must denounce furry-assed feminine costumes and get yourself some manly camouflage stuff along with combat boot style skates. Every now and then, drink a beer and don't be afraid to let one rip in front of the judges. Start reading Hustler when you have the time and smack every pretty girl on the backside as she passes by and be sure to give her a big wink and a thumbs up afterward. (If at all possible, ask her for her phone number.) Last, but not least, keep your winky out of the stinky, if you know what I mean. If you follow these simple steps, you too, can be a man, Johnboy. Good luck.
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