NFL Draft Fiasco

So.....you're a really talented collegiate athlete and the NFL selects you to participate in it's draft: Should you be happy and grateful to be part of a group of individuals who get payed to play a game for a living? Not if you happen to be Michael 'Da Bitch' Crabtree. Poor little Michael thinks he was cheated in the draft because Al Davis decided to choose someone else for the Raiders, leaving him to be snagged by the Niners instead. What is the problem, you ask? Money, of course. .........Big pause for dramatic effect............GIMME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!

Michael, man up bitch. You should be bending your ungrateful ass over backwards to thank San Francisco for choosing you. Who cares about your initial salary, other than your greedy punk ass, I mean. If you didn't have the talent you have, you sure as hell wouldn't be getting millions to do anything else. In fact, thank your higher power for granting you that talent and being spared a life of mediocrity, flipping burgers and living a drearier existence. Rejoice in the fact you are among the chosen few to NOT have to worry about this damned recession! I'm sure this will be falling on deaf ears as far as your childish ass is concerned so I'll be addressing the remainder of my rant to the people who make the NFL possible.

Gentlemen, and ladies, why the hell are you paying any of these spoiled little prima donnas a dime over $100,000 a year for their first four years? Set a salary cap on rookies to weed out the ungrateful punks from the true players; The T.O.'s from the Ngyuen's if you will. You don't need all the drama and hassle these assholes bring to the game anymore than the fans do. Instead of paying players outrageous salaries, set up a pension fund instead, so players don't end up broke and penniless in their golden years. You can use all that extra money that will be lying around to renovate the host cities of the franchises and do some serious good for the charities you support.

Of course, GM's and execs shouldn't get giant salaries either. Tell you what, hire me as the NFL Commissioner and I'll fix the whole thing in one season....and I'll do it for $100,000. If you like what I've done at the end of the year.....you can keep me on for an additional $100K per year. I'll fix all the bugs and have everyone smiling. That's a promise.